Killing My Soul
by The Carpet Shampoo
Summary: A/U. Pan, after becoming the first Super Saiyan ever, is married to the Prince of Vegeta, Trunks. But Trunks appears to hate her...With only the misfit Princess Bra at her side, can Pan survive her new life?
1. Chapter 1

"Killing my Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters.

Pixie: This fic is A/U. It takes place on the Planet Vegeta, and yes, it is T/P. Freiza never existed, Goku never went to Earth. Chi-Chi, Bulma and Videl are all Saiyans, but never really mentioned, so does it even matter? Anyway…When Pan's father, a third class warrior called Gohan, is accidentally killed, Pan becomes the first Super Saiyan on the Planet Vegeta. For her accomplishment, she is married to the Prince of the Saiyans, a boy called Trunks. Though she loves him, he does not appear to love her back. Will his feelings change? Or is Pan stuck forever in a loveless marriage?

Chapter 1

Pan's POV

Daddy…we had a relationship that was so un-saiyanish. There was love, respect, and genuine caring for each other. But that ended. I was a female, Female 001-34711 to be exact. Son Pan. My dad was everything to me. My mentor, my teacher, my friend. He was the only person to ever see me cry. And he didn't care either. Instead of mocking me, like a normal Saiyan, he comforted me, and held me in his arms. I felt warm, safe, loved. The feelings were so overwhelming. I was twelve at this time, and had never felt loved or needed before…its sad when I look back on it. Someday, I will have a child. And I will teach her what love is. She will not be heartless. She will be like my grandfather. He is, perhaps the greatest warrior Vegeta has ever seen, surpassing even the king. But he has a heart as pure as mountain water. So he was declared third class.

That was how Planet Vegeta worked.

Fighting. You couldn't even walk outside without seeing a fight going on somewhere. I walked down the street, not in armor, but a red shirt, loose jeans and an orange bandanna. It seemed like such an ordinary day…But things were far from ordinary. 

I was walking down the street, and you know what I saw? A little Saiyan girl, lying face down in the street, dead. There was a fight going on nearby, she must have gotten caught in the middle of it. Though sites like this were common, you never ever got used to them. At least I didn't. The girl's tail was so tiny and limp, she would never know love. No male would ever look in her eyes and fall in love. She would never grow strong, or learn to fight. Tears stung at my eyes, tears I fought viscously. Being seen crying could easily get me caught in a fight.

I bent down over the fragile body and began to lift her gently. But her hair-her precious, shiny, black hair was stuck to the ground, held in place by the girl's own blood. The site was so sickening, I almost threw up. At the very least, I gagged. I pulled gently at her hair, and finally the blood released it, leaving only a few strands of black hair as a reminder of where the child had died. I flew off, holding the limp body to my chest. I landed in a remote field, and blasted a hole in the ground. I placed the child in the hole, and covered her with dirt. When I was done, I checked to see if anyone was around, then wept for the fallen child, whose blood was on my shirt and my hands. I returned home, and washed away the blood, but no matter how much water I poured on myself, the site of the girl, and the anger over he pointless death would not was away. 

Gohan's POV

It's a sad world indeed when your own daughter walks into the house, covered in blood. You don't even know do you? Is the blood from someone she killed? Is it from some body on the ground she picked up? I figured it was the latter, but in a world like ours, you never can tell, can you? A story such as this, can only end in grief and sorrow. I pray every day, to any god or goddess that may be listening. But the only gods and goddesses I know are earth-bound. My father, Kakkarott. My wife, Videl, so kind in caring for the poor. My daughter Pan, so innocent, and yet so knowing and still, she is kind. And my brother, Goten, so childish and happy, like our father, in this world of strife. Even I weep. I weep for fallen children, for girls like Pan, who to the world of Vegeta, are only numbers, less than Saiyan. Pan had a fire in her soul, one that constantly worried me. Most girls, though powerful and strong, were submissive to men. Videl had carried the fire in her, and passed it on to Pan. I love them both fiercely, and because of their fire within. But…others do not feel this way. Others mock their spirit. Some others want to break them. And some, some can only fear them and the awesome power their spirits hold. A knock sounds at the door, and I rise from my troubled thoughts to answer the door. 


	2. Chapter 2

"Killing my Soul"

By Pixie
    
    Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ or any of its characters.

Pixie: Well this fic seems to be getting good response, so I'll keep it going. I do hope you guys enjoy this fic, so I get the chance to keep writing it…I'm sure you're all so anxious for updates all the time. But you know, you can always make the updates come faster by clicking the review button at the bottom, and adding a nice review!

Chapter 2

Pan's POV

I heard the knock at the door. I wish it had been I who answered it. But I was putting on my armor, not for combat, just for the soul sake that it was comfortable. But I did not answer the door. My father did. There was a man on the other side. The man who killed my father. That day changed my life. With my father, I too died, but unlike him, I was reborn, a new Pan. I do not know yet, if that change was for better or for worse. I lay down on my bed, and stared up at the ceiling, trying to clear my mind of all thoughts. I fell into nothingness and just stared away at nothing. But suddenly I was snapped out of it. A voice-my father's voice, suddenly cried out from downstairs, startling me awake. I ran downstairs, but found myself too late. My father lay dead on the floor, and there was nothing I could do, but scream. I fell to my knees, screaming cries, cries that sounded like the came from no Saiyan, but instead some wild animal, who was fatally wounded. The pain in my heart rose higher and higher with my ki. This was love, this is what ate the hearts of man alive.

Gohan's POV

My daughter…my Pan. I do not know why this man fights me so, if man he is. But I do know he will kill me. I see my life flash before my eyes. 

I see my father…he's hugging me, telling me he loves me, and he's proud of me. And he'll always be proud.

I see my wife…Videl. So beautiful…a rare Saiyan, blue-eyed, and fire-hearted. She handed me a child. My Pan…

I saw Pan saying her first word.

I saw Pan walking.

I saw Pan learning to fly.

More visions came: Pan singing, dancing, laughing, crying. I saw myself holding her, laughing with her, and telling her I loved her.

I loved her. 

She was my child, my one, my only. I saw in her eyes, reflections of myself, the beauty of her mother, the innocence of my father, and the sweet charm and inner strength she possessed all on her own. 

"PAN!!" I cried out one last time. And then, there was only darkness…

Pan's POV

I saw my dad hit the floor, his body limp and dead as the little girl's. "No…NO!!" Was that aloud? Was it only in my head? "Dad…Daddy" I felt like a little girl again. So lost…alone…unloved.

I fell down, gasping for breath, tears running freely down my cheeks. I struggled to stand, but it was useless.

"Wha…What is this?!" This was no physical pain, this was a pain in my heart, greater than any beating. It was the feeling of a love lost, and the worst pain I ever felt. Vision's flew through my head, thoughts of love, thoughts of my father, thoughts of myself, Son Pan. Anger and rage flung themselves before my eyes. It was then I realized I was standing. I could feel my ki building and building, higher than anything I'd ever felt. I was out of control now, I could do nothing, but grow more sad, more angry, and more powerful. I threw my head back and screamed. At first I could not make out what I was screaming. But then I heard it. A scream of a name. Was this me screaming, so horribly, so full of rage and anger. Crying out a name, over and over again.

"DAD!!!" the name echoed over and over again. Suddenly, something inside me changed. I did not realize the change until afterwards. My hair, so long and black once, now a soft gold, in long spikes down my back, my eyes, once the color of the midnight sky, now so green. A soft gold glow wrapped around me. It was then I remembered my legends. And I realized what change had occurred in me. It was my transformation into a Super Saiyan that ultimately killed my soul. 

I had become the first Super Saiyan ever. It was a great change. 

A change that could not go unnoticed. 

Pixie: If you haven't noticed, this fic is going to be pretty sad…don't say I didn't warn you!!


	3. Chapter 3

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Chapter 3:

Vegeta's POV

The girl…001-34711. How did she do it? How did she become a Super Saiyan. I examined the girl from head to toe. Third class, her name was Son Pan. She had a small face, short hair, barely spiky, hanging down. She was not transformed now, so her hair was black, with a soft sheen to it. Her eyes, blacker than hell, were like space, so incredibly depthless. She was beautiful, to say the very least. The perfect mate for the brat. Trunks finally arrived, and Pan blushed at his presence. She knelt, obviously hoping to hide the redness on her face. I pretended not to notice, and Trunks never suspected a thing. 

"Brat!" Trunks turned an icy glare to me. It didn't faze me the slightest. Trunks got that glare from me. "Brat, this is your new mate. She's no Princess, but we'll train her to be one. And then you two kids can go off and have your ugly little children, and we'll all be happy." Trunks smirked, and shrugged. 

"Whatever…" Trunks walked off, only looking at 001-34711 once. He sneered at her, then went off. 

"Bra…" I said, calling to my daughter. She walked out slowly, each step deliberate and perfect.

"Yes, father?"

"Take 001-34711…Take Pan to the pink room. That will be her quarters. Tomorrow, I want a Princess at breakfast, not some damned manner-less 3rd class." And with that I walked off to tell the boy to get ready to get to know his new mate.

Pan's POV

I stepped into the pink room and glanced around nervously. There was a large bed, with a white blanket and pink sheets and pillows. The walls were decorated with pink carnations and blue stripes. There was a large window with a pink window seat. A large chest of drawers stood next to the bed on one side, and a nightstand on the other side. Across from the bed, there was a vanity, with a jewelry box on it. It was so beautiful, and yet it frightened me. I sat down on the bed, still unable to understand what had happened. 

Tears came up to my eyes again, and I tried to fight them down, but it was a useless struggle. I felt so stupid, sitting there, crying in front of the Princess Of Saiyans. But Bra sat down next to me, and put an arm around me. "It's ok...she said, "sometimes…I cry too." I looked up at Bra, her eyes and hair, the brilliant blue her mother's had been. "I'm a bit of misfit Saiyan. I don't want to fight at all. I think its stupid. I'm glad you're here Pan. We're the same age, so maybe…maybe we can talk? Be friends?" 

"We are talking," I said, wiping away my tears, and smiling, "And I think we're already friends." 

"Good," Bra said. She stood up, and flung open the closet, "As friends, I believe its my job to select your clothes." 

I began to laugh. I couldn't help it. Being with Bra washed away my fears of the castle. I felt comfortable, almost…happy. I was about to be engaged to a man who seemed to hate me, I was the only Super Saiyan ever, but still…Bra's presence made it a heck of a lot better. 

Bra held up her dress selection for me to see. The dress was black, with red designs running up in all around. It had black spaghetti straps, and there was a stripe of black going around the neckline. The dress clung to me in all the right places, and it had a slit running up both sides, to just above my knee. It wasn't my number one choice in outfits, but it would have to do until I could find some REAL clothes. After Bra had done my hair, make-up, and jewelry and found the perfect shoes, she declared me ready to present herself to Trunks. I stopped by the door.

"Here it is…the first day of the rest of my life." 

"Stand up straighter," Bra said. I stood up straight as I could. "And when you walk, make each step slow, and graceful." She demonstrated for me, looking as perfect as can be. I tried it and fell, right out the door and in the hallway. I heard laughter, cold and mocking, and looked right up in the face of the Prince Trunks. 

"My-my…my prince…I'm sorry…" I stammered, trying to stand.

"TRUNKS VEGETA BRIEFS THIS IS THE GIRLS QUARTERS!! PRINCE OR NOT, YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED HERE!!!" Bra stood there, and glared up at the Prince, her body stance so proud and strong. Shock filled my body as I rose to my feet. I lowered my head in modesty. What did Bra think she was doing? Girls weren't supposed to talk to men like THAT…

Obviously Princess Trunks knew this too. He reached out and slapped the Princess. The slap rang out like a gunshot, but Bra stood, completely unfazed. Fury was in her eyes, and I realized this wasn't about Trunks being in the girls' quarters…This was about Trunks laughing at me. Bra was defending my honor. Tears filled my eyes at the thought of my wonderful new friend. The Prince, glared once more at the two of us, then walked off, clearly disgusted. I began to cry. I couldn't help myself. I turned my head away from Bra, and ran over to the pink bed and threw myself down. Why? Why did the Prince hate me so? I felt Bra's hand rest on my back, and I was ashamed for crying. 

"It's ok to cry Panny…I cry to sometimes. Just cry, Panny…I won't let anyone hurt you Pan. I'm your friend now, and I love you." I was unable to meet Bra in the eye. I was the Super Saiyan here, and she was talking about defending me? 

"Thank you, Bra…my friend."

Pixie: So, what do you think? 

Goten: Where am I? How come I haven't shown up yet?

Pixie: I haven't decided whether to put you in there or not.

*Fact: The room Pan is in, is what my room looks like.*

*Other Fact: She's wearing my old homecoming dress.*


	4. Chapter 4

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ nor any of its characters.

Pixie: Finally, I've decided where I'm going to take this fic. And thank you, thank you, THANK YOU KELLY!! ! Without you're great ideas, this fic would still be going nowhere. 

Chapter 4

Trunks' POV

"This is SO fucking stupid! I can't believe that bastard…Does he have no respect for me and my feelings!?" 

"Trunks-chan…don't be so upset. I'm still here for you. We'll succeed, yet…" A young Sayian girl, a noble, wrapped her tail protectively around Trunks waist, and kissed him softly on his neck. 

"Marron…I don't know. She's sided with Bra…"

"WHAT!!!" Marron removed her lips from Trunks' neck, and leaped away from him, her blond hair flying back behind her. "You let her side with the Princess!!!" 

"I didn't let her Marron…"

"This screws up our plans a lot. Your little sister is such a brat. She'll ruin everything for us."

"We'll just have to try harder than, my love…" Trunks said softly, pressing his lips against Marron's. She pulled away after a minute and locked her eyes with his. 

"Just hate her, Trunks. Stick with the plan we've always had. Not even the Princess Bra can make you love her. Nobody can make you love her…" She kissed Trunks again, quickly, and then the two lovers separated to carry out their plans. 

Pan's POV

Finally, I could at least walk in these stupid shoes. Bra marched ahead, still looking angry from she and the Prince's spat. I followed her, walking quietly as I could, and hoping no one would notice me. 

There was no hope for that. I stuck out like a sore thumb, the third class girl, who became royalty over night. The King's and Prince's guards glared death at me when I passed them. They had been nobility for generations and generations, and had always prided themselves on being the best of the best, the finest warriors.

"And here I am, I thought glumly, "the girl who has become stronger than them in only 24 hours." I kept walking. I was supposed to be meeting the Prince now, along with the King and Queen. Butterflies danced in my stomach as I followed Bra. 

Finally we reached the royal room where the Prince, King and Queen were. The King and Queen were seated, Trunks stood off to the side. Bra went up and stood opposite sides to Trunks. He glared over at her, and she childishly stuck her tongue out at him. I kneeled down before them, and waited in nervousness.

"Rise, Lady Pan." The King spoke, and I rose to my feet, trembling now. Trunks was glaring at me, worse than all of the guards combined. I looked up at the King and Queen. The King I had seen before, but I had never seen the Queen. She looked like an older version of Bra, her hair was long and blue, her eyes looked like the sky in daytime, and she sat with such a sense of pride and honor, I was more frightened of her than all of the rest of them. 

"Lady Pan, you have become the first Super Saiyan to grace Vegeta in a very long time. Tell us what caused this change."  

"My father's death, sir." 

"And who was your father?" 

"Gohan, the son of Kakkarott, who was the son of Bardock." 

"Kakkarott? You are related to Kakkarott? Well that explains a lot…He has caused us plenty of trouble, trying to tell us he had found the key to strength in the emotion of love. I see…he has finally succeeded. Trunks! There is no more doubt in my mind. Say hello to your future mate." I looked over at Trunks, who seemed even more angry at me. Bra was smiling happily, the Queen looked at me curiously, and the King seemed lost in thought…What had I fallen in to?

Pixie: Yes, Marron is a Sayian too!! Scary huh? Anyway, congrats to those of you who noticed the "Princess Trunks" error. That was a typo. 


	5. Chapter 5

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ.

Pixie: I've got it! The perfect idea…

Goten: For the story?

Pixie: No…The perfect idea to get Gohan to marry me!! See, if he thinks I don't like him anymore, and if he thinks I like someone else, he'll want me back so bad. All boys want, are the things they can't have.

Goten: I don't see how this is going to work…

Pixie: It will…but for now I have a chapter to write. 

Chapter 5

Pan's POV

So that was it. All my life ended with one statement. I was to be Trunks' mate now. Bra and I retreated to her room, where I changed out of that stupid dress and shoes and put on normal fighting clothes. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and grimaced. I wiped off the makeup, and pulled my hair down from the up style Bra had put it in. I pulled it back in a simple ponytail, and wrapped my tail around my waist. I turned to face Bra, and she grinned at me. 

"Much better," she said, and to my surprise changed into a outfit similar to mine. She wiped the make up off her face too, and pulled her hair back like mine. She turned to me, and smiled. I almost gasped. She was so much more beautiful now, without all the make-up and fancy hair and clothes. I smiled at her, and though I still felt my life was ruined, the sight of seeing Bra look so beautiful and happy gave me hope that this world may be bearable after all. My dad have given me the same kind of hope when he was alive. We walked out the door, and I looked around, noticing a beautiful blond woman standing nearby. Her hair fell down her back in long streaks that shined as if they were kissed by the stars. Her eyes were more blue than the Prince's, and she turned and gave us a dazzling and charming smile. 

"Hello there!" she called out, jogging over to us, her tail swaying gently behind her, "I'm a bit lost. I'm looking for a friend of mine here. He's a Guard I believe, who works very closely with the Prince. Would you know where I can find him?" The girl wiped her hands nervously one the dress she wore, and I noticed the blue of her dress was the color of her eyes. 

"The Prince and Guards are probably training now," Bra said thoughtfully, "and only the Prince could direct you to one of his Guards." 

"Perhaps you could show me to the Prince?" The blond asked. 

"Not while he's in training," Bra said, "But you are welcome to stay with Pan and I until he is done. I'm Bra. Who are you?" The blond girl looked at me, and I was unable to read the expression in her eyes.  She turned back to Bra and smiled again. 

"I'd be happy to stay with you. My name, is Lady Marron."

Marron's POV

It couldn't be. Pan and Bra were the name of the two princesses, but here they were, in the castle in simple fighting clothes, with no elaborate makeup or hair. And both so nice as well. Especially Pan. It had helped in the process of me and Trunks' plot to kill her to envision her as a mean ugly wench, hell-bent on stealing power and wealth. But no…here she was, pretty, scared, and not wanting power or wealth. I was the villain here, not her. I was the one who wanted the power and wealth. I walked around with the two princesses, and though I wanted to hate them, I found myself liking them more and more. Bra would mock the guards behind their backs and call them weak sissies. My father and mother were the Prince's Guards, but she never mocked them, so I was fine with that. We retreated to Pan's room after a bit, and talked some more. 

"So Pan…you have to be the Prince's mate? Isn't it exciting?" I asked, trying to sound causal. 

To my shock Pan's eyes filled with tears, which I could see she was trying extremely hard not to let flow. 

"I hate it. All the Guards hate me, the Prince hates me, and I don't even know why…The only real friend I have is Bra." My heart filled with pity for this girl, Pan. She was here, completely against her will, with only one friend in the world. I stepped forward and put my arm around her. 

"Now," I said softly, scared of my own voice, "You have two friends." I knew I had just thrown away every chance I had at the throne of Vegeta. Part of me was still in love with Trunks, but part of me was caring for Pan. I was torn here, between my new friend, and the boy I loved. My new friends, put the arms around me and each other in a tangled three girl hug. Pan had begun to cry at this point. I saw her then, a girl very young, lost in a world too grown-up for any of us to understand. 

Goten's POV

Where was she? My brother's only child was lost somewhere in this castle, and I felt in was my obligation to find her and protect her. I had landed a job as a low class Guard, but I hoped to move up to Prince's Guard, so I had access to all the castle. 

"May I help you, young man?" I turned around to find myself face to face with the Queen Bulma. Remembering my manners, I bowed before her. 

"Oh get up. Its stupid, everyone bowing every time the look at me." I stood up, feeling a bit lost. 

"Actually, maybe you can help me. My brother Gohan's child, Pan is somewhere here. I want to keep an eye on her, I promised my brother I would, you see, but I don't want her to know about me watching her, I just want to be there to protect her if she needs it," I said quickly. The Queen stared at me for a minute. 

"You talk more than my daughter Bra. But if you want to be able to protect Pan, I can make you one of her Guards, if you're strong enough. It will give you the excuse to watch out for her, and she doesn't have to know you two are related." I nodded. I was pretty confident I was strong enough.

The Queen continued, "Trunks, the prince, he'll be the one interviewing you for the job. The King Vegeta will also be there. They'll decide if you can be her guard or not. I'll put in a good word for you, and make sure you're identity is kept secret. We'll give you a new name, making sure you're real name and family are only known to myself, the king and prince." A new name…this was a chance I had longed for so long now. I smiled at the Queen. 

"Sounds like a plan." 

Pixie: Ok, I know. Finally, I'm done. Sorry about the delay in getting this chapter out!!


	6. Chapter 6

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ.

Pixie: Yea! Another chapter, already! And this one is dedicated to Katie! Cause she asked for another chapter. So…here's Chapter 6.

Chapter 6:

Bra's POV

I settled down on the window seat of Pan's room, while Pan sat on the bed, and Marron on the floor, on one of the pink pillows. 

"So, Pan-chan…What was your life like before you cam here to the palace?" Marron asked. I had never heard Pan talk about her life before the palace, so I was very eager to hear this tale. Pan frowned for a minute, as if she was thinking very hard on what she was going to say…or perhaps she was trying hard to gather the courage to tell. 

"My entire life, was in the palace," I said softly. I don't know what was fueling my courage to tell my own tale, but suddenly words I'd kept in a fragile glass box for years had shattered the glass and begun to spill out everywhere. "I was the lost sister, the one who had no purpose. Good for nothing but to be waited on, and get a good mate. Cause if I had a good mate, and something happened to Trunks, my mate could take over the throne. I wasn't even good enough to be throne insurance." I stopped for a second to wipe away a fallen tear. Marron and Pan moved over so that they were on either side of me. They each wrapped their arms around me, and I felt safe, locked up in a little cocoon of love. I took a deep breath, and continued, "Each of the Guards seemed to think they were the perfect mate for me. I knew I was beautiful. I could barely walk out of my room without some Guard coming up to me and flirting. Some of them were 30 or 40 years older than me. They were the worst. When I was 7 this started. Men, always touching me, on my butt, on my chest, and my tail. They would grab my tail, and pet it gently. I couldn't escape when they did that. It hurt if I tried to get away, a pain that would cause me to fall to the ground. If I didn't resist them, I wouldn't be able to stop the mind control. If someone grabs your tail, and intends to hurt you by it, it will hurt. If they intend to make you love them, you will love them. So I had to resist. I would tell my mother and father, but they were powerless against this. If I could identify the guard, he was fired, but usually I couldn't." I knew now I was crying hard, but I couldn't stop, "I didn't have the physical strength to defend myself. I didn't believe in fighting or senseless killing. So I never built up physical strength. All I ever wanted was a man who didn't care if I was beautiful or held power. I wanted someone who would me, and love me, and not care if he was in line for the throne, and someone who would never use my tail to control me. I wanted someone who truly loved me." Marron and Pan held me closer, assuring me softly. They told me I would find love. And in the midst of warmth and love, I believed them.

Marron's POV

"My story is different from Bra's. I had found love early enough. In a boy called Ubuu. He was a warrior below me, but he taught me to smile when I was unhappy, and he taught me love cam from the inside of you. Love wasn't about kissing someone, or holding their hand, or even bonding. It was a feeling that came from inside of you, that lit your whole inside up. My parents were both Elite Guards of the King. They were about as high as you could go without being royalty. It gave me a sense of pride knowing our status.

Ubuu however, was below us. He was second class, but my parents wouldn't hear of a romance between us. They refused to believe I loved him. I was forbidden to meet with him. We met in secret only a few times before my father found out." I realized that sometime while I was talking we had rearranged positions and now I was in the middle of our cocoon. Since Ubuu left, I have never felt so loved as I did now, "My father was furious. He attacked Ubuu, who barely escaped into the night. I never saw him again, but I can feel him sometimes, thinking about me. And I know, that someday, we'll be reunited." Bra was still crying, Pan looked misty eyed, and I had tears pouring down my face. But we were a circle of love now, one that, no matter what, could never be broken.

Pan's POV

"I guess it's my turn to tell a tale." I was nervous, but I knew I could not be the only one not to tell a tale. "My tale is not about love, or lust. It's about death, hope, and being different and scared. My mother died when I was very young. I never even knew her. She was first class, and every male wanted to be her mate. But she only had eyes for a third class warrior named Gohan. The two would meet in secret, and they loved each other. They bonded together, and gave birth to me. Many men were furious at my mother, Videl for marrying my father instead of them. I remember hiding in closets often, watching my father fight off people. I've never been told how my mother died, but I guess it may have been through one of these fights. My father loved me. It made our family different and more hated. Because our love made us strong warriors. Love does that to you, its such a strong emotion, it builds your strength faster than hate. But hate is also strong, enough of it built up inside a man can over power even the strongest love. And that is what happened to my father. He won fight after fight, but in the end, he was killed. I had grown strong in years, and seeing the death of my father pushed me overboard. Emotions flowed throughout my body, a river in a storm, and I went Super Saiyan. Because, in the end, my love for my father grew stronger than the hate of the man that killed him. I too, hate senseless killings." Memories of rage, love, and hate echoed throughout me, and I close my eyes. I didn't even realize the tears running down my face or the arms of my friends around me, "They killed my soul that day. Emotions so strong ripped me apart from the inside. The King came to our house and found me, sobbing over my father's body, my hair long and golden and my eyes a bright green. He took me back to palace with him, and here's where I am now." Now I was in the middle of the love cocoon and their wasn't a dry eye in the room. Each painful memory heard only by the walls and our ears seemed to bounce throughout the room. For a long while we sat that way, holding each other, until we drifted off to sleep each of us safe in the love of each other.

Pixie: Ok nothing much to say here. I put in some Marron/Ubuu, cause it was asked for. Pretty soon, my schedule's going to get busy again, so updates will be a bit slow again.


	7. Chapter 7

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do neither own DBZ nor any of its characters.

Pixie: Ok, if any of you haven't heard the sad, tragic news, my good computer, has DIED! So all I have is my computer, Vegeta, who has slow dinosaur Internet. But I promise to try and update often as I can. 

Chapter 7

Vegeta's POV

I looked over at Bulma, her blue hair shiny, despite the harsh lighting of the castle. Her face was drawn up in an expression of both worry and grace. Her cerulean eyes stared out at nothing, and her thoughts were blocked from me. But I did not need to read her mind. I knew what thought lay in there. 

"Trunks will come around. The brat always does." 

"Vegeta-he hates her. Its in his eyes." She looked over at me, her eyes the colors of Trunks, but not angry like his. 

"Yes he hates her. And I don't know why."

"He's like you Vegeta. He's going to do something drastic." I sighed. Did she honestly think I didn't already know this? I knew the boy as well as her , perhaps even better. I looked over at Bulma, my mate and my love, and thought of Trunks and Pan. Bulma and I had a relationship unlike many out there. We loved each other. We were not some promised match, some random couple thrown together to have strong boys. My father had allowed me to pick a mate. He had selected several girls, each from a highly respected community. But by accident, Bulma and I had met before the choosing. She had been upset that her boyfriend, Yamcha, had been cheating on her. Acting unlike my normal self, I comforted her, thinking she was a servant. And later when the choosing began, I saw her, and I knew I was in love. I chose her, and she chose me. 

I wanted Trunks to have that relationship, that love, and know what it felt like to be loved. I wanted him to have what I had, what I knew, and pass it on. I knew he could love Pan, if he chose. 

Bulma's POV

"We could do it you know," I said, "we could make them fall in love." 

"Trunks and Pan? How, woman?" Ignoring his sarcasm, I continued. 

"They are meant for each other, I can tell. All they need is a little push. We'll throw a ball in their honor, we'll set them up on romantic dates."

"Wonderful…so now they'll hate us, AND each other. Woman, your brilliance amazes me." I reached out and smacked him, knowing it didn't hurt him, and he gave me his little smirk. It drove me crazy, both with love and annoyance, but I knew that was a sign I could carry out my little plan.

Bra's POV

Marron is hiding something from us. I can tell by the nervousness her smiles almost hide, and the way she twirls her hair in her finger. I do that too when I'm nervous. Occasionally, she'll stand up and leave, all of the sudden, and make up dumb excuses why. We've poured our souls on to each other's laps, and drank in the words of our darkest secrets. But yet, Marron remains a mystery, a puzzle too complicated to be solved.

I asked Pan what she thought, and she knew nothing about it. She guessed that Marron was just a mysterious person. I pretended to be satisfied with her answer.

And there is one more unsolved mystery. I've grown up in this castle. New guards are always coming and going, they are forever changing. But there is this one Guard of Pan's that has never been changed. I don't think anyone has noticed, but I have. He is a handsome Guard, probably not much older than me or Pan. Not only does he never switch with other Guards, but also there's something very familiar about him. Something I've yet to put my finger on. It's not that I don't like him. He ran into each other once, and instead of hitting on me, he apologized, and left very quickly, red in the face.

I think it was the sweetest thing a guys ever done for me. 

I followed him around a bit, and found out his name-sorta. My mother called him Go-something, but everyone else called him Raditz. 

But before I could ponder go-something or Raditz or whatever his name was, I heard Pan calling me, and ran off to see her.

Pixie: Ok, so I've been slow. Please don't sue me, I have nothing worth taking. Except for possibly Chibi Trunks, but you can't have him, cause I worked hard to kidnap him.

Trunks: I thought that was an accident….

Pixie: Just ruin my fun…


	8. Chapter 8

"Killing My Soul" 

By The Lazy Pixie

Pixie: I'm sorry…It's been two long. So I'm putting up TWO chapters. That's right folks, you heard it right here, two chapters. As for the other fic, Bondage, I'm waiting to here from another author who is co-writing that fic. 

Chapter 8

Marron's POV

What does the phrase "happily ever after" mean to me? What does it mean to any of us? I looked over at the sleeping Pan and Bra, who smiled softly in their dreams of happy futures. I silently slipped at the door, and shut as quietly as I could behind me. Neither of them moved. I walked down the hall, listening to my heart pound. Why is it your heart must beat so loud whenever you wish it to be silent? I knew it must be very late at night, for even the Saiyan Guards were asleep, lustful smiles on their faces, as the dreamt of their mates, or whom they wished to be their mates. 

"Do they ever think of anything else?" I stared disgustingly at a drooling guard blocking my path, "King Vegeta what happened to the 'Perfect Society' the 'Elite Saiyans' our ancestors have dreamed of? What has become of us, our people? We should all become more like Pan, believing the whole world is a good place, and that everyone, deep down, has a good heart. 

At the end of the hallway, a figure stood, pacing back in forth, soft un-saiyan like hair fluttering around a perfect face. I felt my heart flow up with love at the sight of him. The feeling never fades, does it? I silently ask myself, watching Trunks in the darkness. I stared at him, willing my stubborn heart to hate, willing my adoring eyes away from his face, but love had taken hold, and pulled me towards him, like a feather caught in a wind. 

"Trunks…" My voice is as soft as the darkness that surrounds us. His rock-hard Saiyan features soften as his noon-sky eyes lock with mine. A face chiseled in stone, he begins to wear away, revealing a beauty not seen in even the greatest of paintings. I tried not to remember the feel of his soft lips against mine or his strong hands over mine, or his gentle caress. I tried not to look into the beauty of his eyes, the way they seemed to glow from within, even now in the dark of the night, with their long-eyelash frame. I tried to forget that rare smile he showed when I would whisper beautiful thoughts to his ears. I tried to forget the soft feeling of his face under my hand. But love does not let you forget such things. Love will eat you alive, and kill your soul, if you chose to let it. 

Trunks' POV

"Trunks…" her voice poured into my ears, and I spun around to face Marron, her eyes, bluer than my own, washed with a mix of love and fear. Love…a despicable emotion, and one I choose not to feel. Did Marron think I knew nothing of her friendship with Bra and Pan? 

"So what is this Marron? Your little friendship with Bra and Pan? Another little scheme for power? If I don't choose you for my mate, the new Princess, and the old will be able to take care of you. You're a traitor, you little bitch, to me, your family, and the entire face of Saiyans." I stared her down, watching my words take effect. Like a rogue, I looked for the most vulnerable spots to attack. Seeing the fear and love in her eyes, I fed off those, the way a spider would feed off it's victims.

"I loved you Marron…and we could have been together. We could have been great together you and I. What happened to the 'us'? I still love you Marron, but you betrayed everything we had." I took her shoulders and turned her to face me. She refuses to meet my eye, and I saw a tear run down her face. 

"I could do horrible things to you Marron. And you know it, don't you? With a flick of my finger, I could have you and your family killed. In the same way, I could give you riches, power. But not anymore…you threw it all away, and for what? Two worthless women. My sister and my mate." I said, spitting hatred on the word mate.

Marron swung her head up, her blond hair swirling slightly, her blue eyes matching mine, staring intently. I almost let go of her. Seeing her eyes directly triggered something in my heart. Love? Hate? Pity? I struggled for a minute, then regained my concentration.

"So…Marron. You must chose now." I looked into those star-filled blue eyes, and splitting the tension with the sharp knife of words, said, "Who's side are you going to be on?"

Goten's POV

So far, all has been well here. I have been going under the name Raditz, my uncle's name, so no one is to guess my identity. I have been made on of Pan's Guards, and my identity is safe. It is lucky for me, Pan and I have only met once, when she was a small child, so she does not remember me, nor does anyone suspect anything out of the ordinary with me. 

Well, actually, there is one person. The Princess Bra has been watching me under cautious blue eyes. I could not fail to notice her. She is a blinding beauty, and protects Pan as much as I do. Which is lucky. The Queen Bulma, who I now have no doubt is crazy, has decided to hold a ball in honor of Trunks and Pan. It is part of an elaborate scheme to form a relationship of love between the two of them, Whether it will work or not is a completely different story.

Trunks: So, this is one of those "how-many-elaborate-schemes-can-we-squeeze-in-fics", isn't it Pix?

Pixie: You know how when you take a picture of someone, they say 'cheese'? Well, what does cheese say when you take its picture? Does it say 'me'? 

Goten: Pixie…Hey, you haven't even begun to tell us about you're great scheme ((gosh, we're using that word an awful lot)) to get Gohan to like you.

Pixie: Well, what I'm going to do is this: For a while I'm going to pretend to like someone else, and go on dates with them and stuff. When Gohan sees that he can't have me, he's going to want me so bad!!

Goten: I see no way this can ever work, but go ahead Pixie. Knock yourself out. 


	9. Chapter 9

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I do not own DBZ…but my birthday isn't too far away, and if you guys are looking for gift ideas….

Gohan: Pixie…why does your screen saver say, "Sage is sexy."? 

Pixie: Well, you know, Sagey…er, Sage, was my first serious boyfriend…and I thought maybe he and I could get together again…maybe even get a house of our own…Not that I don't like living with you guys.

Gohan: But…but…. I thought…you…me.

Pixie: Don't be silly Gohan. Maybe for a while I had a little crush on you, but we're talking about serious feelings between Sage and me. Not some silly crush. Besides, you must have told me a zillion times you didn't like me back. Well, I have to go type a new chapter…bye bye Gohan!

Chapter 9

Trunks' POV

News of the Starlight Ball came suddenly. It was supposedly to honor me and Pan, and my father has threatened me with death if I do not take and dance with Pan, I told him I do not fear death.

"You will…" he said, and then said no more. I decided to play along with their cruel games of my heart, and take Pan with me to this stupid dance. Starlight Ball. Sounds like something my mother would think up. 

I walked up to what was supposed to be Pan's room, but had no been taken over by Bra, and Marron. They had pretty much moved in with Pan. I knocked on the door, and I heard someone jump up to get it. The door opened slightly, and Bra looked out to me, and wrinkled her nose, not bothering to hide her distaste for me. She would pay for that someday. Though my heart was filled with revenge, a bit of love slipped in when I saw Marron. But I refused to look at her for longer than a second, fearing I would give away some subliminal hint that hinted of something more than ordinary between the two of us. It was ok that she was here. It was ok that she was a friend with Pan, even. Because I did not need her. I was the one who held the trump card here. I held the money, and more importantly the powers to have Pan killed and make it seem like an accident. 

I brushed past Bra, ignoring her girlish pleas about how this was a girl's room. She could not hide anywhere from me. I walked up to Pan, and glared down at her with my father's glare. She looked up, but there was no fear behind those gentle eyes. That alone sent a shiver down my spine. She was much stronger than me. I had thought it only to be physically stronger than me, but now I realized mentally, her mind was stronger than mine. But could she outwit me? I did not think so, I vow I will still kill her in the end. 

Smiling fake, I looked down at her. "Hello there Pan. You've heard of the Starlight Ball, haven't you?"

Bra's POV

In an instant I saw my brother's fake smile, I knew he was up to no good. But Pan seemed to notice none of it. She was too innocent, too naïve to see what was plainly in front of her face. She was too bent on seeing the good in people that she overlooked the most obvious bad. I tried to catch Marron's eye, but she stared straight ahead like she was dead or something. I suddenly felt very alone. Who will stand up for Pan if we don't? 

It was obvious what we had to do. First of all, we would have to prepare Pan for the ball. We would take that wild tomboy and dress her up to be as beautiful as she was inside, and then, we would attend the ball too. Mostly too keep an eye on her, but also to follow Trunks. I looked over at Marron. 

Perhaps I'd have to keep an eye on her as well.

Marron's POV

I've done it Mom, Dad. I've decided what I'm going to do. Seeing Trunks, last night and today, finally pushed me to the edged of the cliff, and I jumped. You may think it was stupid, but I have chosen Pan. No matter how much my body cries for Trunks, I realize now, my heart is relying on Pan. I think we are all relying on Pan now. She is clearly the strongest of us all, mentally and physically outclassing us in every way.

No amount of per or wealth now could push me to change my mind. 

I watched silent as dearth, as Trunks asked Pan to go to the Starlight Ball with him. He said it so charmingly that evens I for a split second believed he had changed. But people don't just change on their own. They have to be forced to change.

Pixie: So let me now what you think? What are you waiting for, review!!


	10. 100 Review Special

"100 Review Spe—

Out of the depths of Pixie's imagination, a figure in a bright pink robe appears.

Pink Figure: MuHAHAHAHA! I am The Writer's Block Reaper! 

Trunks: Why are you all in pink?

WBR: Pixie imagined me…

The Writer's Block Reaper, and Trunks Briefs Present…

The Attack of Writer's Block

(a horror flick, written and directed by Trunks)

(We see a dark screen, flickered by only a few stars hidden behind stormy clouds. The camera goes around, before finally settling on house of medium size, only one window lit. Through the window, we can barely make out the form of a young girl, sitting by a computer, stretching out her fingers.)

The Writer's Block Reaper (we shall call him Yamcha for short): Here it is…the house of young Pixie Whitefeather. *He smoothes out his pink robes and begins to walk in a slow overdramatic way towards Pixie's house * 

Pixie: *sighs and looks at her computer * What to write… *she begins to pace across the room. She types on sentence, then continues pacing *

*Outside the door, young Trunks Briefs, a wise young boy watches through the door. *

Trunks: I'd recognize those symptoms anywhere…Yamcha is near. The closer he gets, the harder it will get for her to write her stories. And if he touches her with his magical pink fluffy wand….

*A Magic Pink Fluffy Wand appears in Yamcha's hand * 

(Yamcha: This is not funny! I think I'm wearing enough pink already…. 

Trunks: Yamcha, shut up! You're ruining my whole bit!)

Trunks: *Ahem * As I was saying, if he touches her with his magical pink fluffy wand, her ability to write will be gone for months! She may not even go near her notebooks for years…and if that happens…fans will go on a rampage…her stories will be forgotten…The name Pixie Whitefeather shall be but a memory, gone like a bird when the first touch of frost kisses the Earth….

*He turns and looks back at young Pixie, who is now shaking her head, and staring hopelessly at the computer. * 

Trunks: There is only one solution… *he reaches into his pocket and pulls out Pixie's fanfiction writing pen, a pen wrapped in green tape with a fake pink lily on the top *

Every fanfic author has the power to take characters, create characters, change characters, and allow them to move and act with the power of their fanfiction writing pens. Pixie has entrusted me with her's, so Goten will stop using it to make nachos appear. But now I must use it's power to call on characters to help me defeat Yamcha. *He raises the pen above his head * Magical author pen! Send forth anime characters to help me defeat Yamcha! 

*The pen begins to emit pink sparkly smoke, and anime characters begin to appear. Unfortunately, Trunks forgot to specify WHICH anime characters were to appear. So instead of heroic heroes, he got: Jesse and James, from Team Rocket (Pokemon), and Vegeta. Trunks sighed and scratched his head. Yamcha was getting closer and closer, and the pen had already used up its one magic spell. Suddenly and idea came to him…* 

Trunks: Jesse! James! Go do that annoying routine of yours. 

Jesse: We can't….

James: We need Meowth. 

Trunks: Hold on a sec… *He flies up to Pixie's room and grabs her Josie and the Pussycats cat ears, then flies back down to be Meowth *

*Trunks calls everyone into a huddle. *

Trunks: Okay everyone, here is the plan….

A few minutes later….

Yamcha: Another one bites the dust! *He steps into Pixie's backyard, pausing to admire her roses, when….*

Jesse: Prepare for trouble!

James: And make it double…

*Meanwhile in the bushes *

Vegeta: That *says some words that are too high for this rating *! He's back here to steal Bulma away from me…I have to beat him up, and at all costs keep him away from the house… *Vegeta continues to repeat the lies Trunks told him. He powers up *

Trunks: Meowth, that's right!

Vegeta: DIEEE!! *he springs from the bushes and attacks Yamcha. He accidentally hits James and Jesse in the process… * 

Jesse and James: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!!!

*Trunks watches as Vegeta chases Yamcha off into the darkness. He stand there smiling until Yamcha's fluorescent pink robes disappear into the darkness… * 

Pixie: I got it! The perfect idea… *she sits down at her computer and begins to type…. *

*Fin*

Gohan: So Trunks is allowed to use your computer and even type the 100 review special, and I'm not even allowed to watch the screen saver?

Pixie: Gohan….You are supposed to be THANKING the reviewers!

Gohan: Why is that? Why does he have so many more privileges?

Pixie: We love all the reviewers here! Thanks so much for loving this story! I promise to try and update faster…well sorta…


	11. Chapter 10

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ or any of it's characters…

Pixie: Ok, I know I told you this chapter would be out long ago, but, I have been so sick, you wouldn't believe. By the way, I no longer have the screen name PixieCat035. Now, if you want to IM me, or be instantly notified of updates, it's PixieCat0035. Note the difference. And I love talking to people, so if you're ever bored, or think my writing is brilliant/horrible/needs_your_great_ideas, let me know ok?

Chapter 10

Pan's POV

Bra gently brushed my hair for what felt like the 1000th time. Tonight, Queen Bulma had decided would be the night for the great ball in honor of Trunks and I. It was to be a masquerade, no one would know each other's identities. Bra's slender finger's continued to shape and mold my hair as I sat in silence, thinking of the night that lay ahead. Marron applied some shimmery eye shadow, and strawberry lipstick. I looked at the unfamiliar beauty goddess in the mirror, her black eyes shimmering softly, and endlessly dark and deep, her hair, curled in all the right places, and piled elegantly on her head. Perfectly manicured nails smoothed out a periwinkle dress of glitter that revealed curves she didn't know she had. Was that goddess in the mirror really myself? I looked over at Bra, her hair in soft blue curls caressing her shoulders, pulled back on one side with a dark read flower, matching her long, slightly low-cut dress. Marron finished applying her lipstick then glanced over at me, her stunning blond hair shining in soft waves that fell loosely around her face. Her dress was a soft violet, almost matching Trunks' hair color. Marron's make-up was expertly done, a light angel's kiss of blush on her cheeks, a flutter of silver intensified the blue of her eyes, and soft pink lips curled into a smile. We looked into our mirror's face one more time, then we each put on a mask, cloaking our identities in secrecy. The dance was about to begin. 

Bra's POV

I stepped onto the dance floor, watching unfamiliar faces whirl by in a confused music. The world I knew became lost in the fantasy of music and dance. Did a prince hide behind one of these masks, or was it merely my imagination? I gazed around me, noticing Pan and Marron lost in the same wonder I was. I spotted Trunks, standing off in the corner, aloof, and scowling. His tail flickered behind him, showing off his annoyance. I silently pointed him out to Pan. I could see the fear behind her mask, but I found the courage to smile anyway. I wished her good luck, and she turned slowly, and started off towards Trunks, her body moving slowly in rhythm to the music around us. She disappeared in the crowd, and I would not see her until the end of the dance. 

I could feel Marron's sapphire eyes staring at me, and I turned to face her. "I'm going to go off. See what I can find out, meet some of the people here, you know, stuff like that." Her raspberry lips parted into a smile and she too faded off into the crowd, leaving me feeling profoundly alone. I wrapped my tail around my waist and began to walk away from the crowd and the music. I jumped up suddenly, when a hand brushed my arm. I turned and saw a young man in armor and a black mask facing me. By the way he was dressed, I figured he was one of the guards here. His hair fell in somewhat messy dark spikes, and he didn't look that strong. But then again, my father never looked very strong either. 

"Who are you? You smell nice…like the berries my mom used to put in my dessert," he asked. I stared at him. I had no idea what to make of this strange Saiyan. 

"You…You're not supposed to tell your identities…" I said lamely. Even the mask could not hide his bewilderment. 

"Why not? Do you cook as nice as you smell?" I blinked. What a one-track mind. Most Saiyans thought only of fighting, food, and woman. I had met plenty who only thought of woman, and plenty who only thought of fighting, but never have I met one who only thought of food. I smiled, amused by his charm. 

"You have to tell me your name so I can cook for you," I said trying to be sly, but knowing he'd never fall for it. You'd have to be pretty dumb to fall for-

"My name is Go….er wait a sec! My name is Raditz." He put his hand on the back of his head, and laughed out loud. I frowned. Why on Earth had he told me his name, and why did he not seem to know it? Suddenly I remembered! This was the guy my mother had called Go-something, but everyone else had called him Raditz. I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him. Sure, he was cute, and he was charming, but that did not mean I could trust him. 

"Your name isn't Raditz. It's Go-something…I heard my mother call you it too." He took a step back, and stared at me.

"Princess Bra?" He sighed, "You're right. I'm Goten, son of Kakkarott. I'm Pan's uncle, and I'm here to keep and eye on her. And it's a good thing I'm here. To make a long story short, Trunks wants to kill Pan. Tonight he was supposed to hire an assassin. But you can't tell anyone." He took off his mask, and eyes so much like Pan's stared out and grabbed me. I tried to find the strength inside of me, but the shock of everything drained me of everything inside. I glanced up at him. A minute ago, he had been laughing, and now his face held such a grim expression that I knew, must match my own. He slipped his mask back on, and moved my arms so they were wrapped around him, and he put his arms around me.

"We're attracting too much attention. Look natural." And with that, we began to dance.

Marron's POV

Not seeing Bra or Pan around, I sat delicately in a chair, not wanting abandon those two, I began to wait the night out. Years of lessons drilled in to my mind came into play. Sit up straight, look delicate, refined. I crossed my legs and placed my hands upon them, not moving them, except to occasionally flip my hair. There's a great sensation in knowing you look beautiful. I saw the way men stared at me, and that made me feel pretty. Some people think it's shallow to want to look pretty all the time, but someone who can make you feel pretty inside and out, feeling that way is not shallow at all. But for as beautiful and charming as I had a reputation for being, I was only asked by one man to dance that night. But I didn't care, because he made me feel so beautiful. 

"You're just sitting here. Why do all the men avoid you? You are very beautiful." I turned and saw a man sitting there. His disguise was very good, even I didn't know his identity. But there was something so familiar about sitting next to him. "You must be like a rare ad beautiful flower, no one wants to pick you, in fear that you are too beautiful. But I am a brave man and I choose to pick you little flower." It was so funny, how practiced his speech sounded, as if years off work had been made into those few words. Through any other mouth, the words would have sounded corny ad dumb; I probably would have laughed in the man's face. But the way he said it, whispering softly in my ear, it made the words sound as elegant and refined as I was feeling. He took my hand, and we danced together, falling into each other's arms as though we had been there all of our lives. The eerie feeling of déjà vu crept up my spine again, but I ignored it. The night passed on, but I stayed with my mystery man throughout the whole night. I had come her to find some info on Pan, and her fate. I had come her to find out the history of her family, their triumphs, and their mistakes. Instead, I had spent the night dancing with a mystery man. Was I a horrible person? The final song ended with a close, and the man started to sneak away. 

"Wait!" I rushed over to him, accidentally knocking off my mask in the process. I fluttered over to him, grabbing his arm to prevent him from leaving. "You have to tell me who you are." I stared up at him, caught up in the moment of breathless wonder.

"I think you already know who I am Marron." It was true, I had known all along, but had doubted in myself. I nodded, and looked up locking my eyes with his. He smiled softly, and leaned in close. Ubuu then removed his mask, kissed me once, and for the second time, vanished from my life. 

Pan's POV

Nervousness filled up my body as I glanced around the room. I was so nervous about meeting Trunks. Though we wouldn't be alone, it sure felt that way to me. I took a deep breath, taking in the world around me. Trunks was casually leaning against the wall, his tail swinging behind him, back and forth. His armor was the most superior in the room, second only to the King's. I felt the eyes of other people watching me as I walked up to Trunks. A young redheaded Saiyan was talking to him, in a flirty way, and my heart lifted to see Trunks completely ignore her. He turned his blue eyes to me, and walked away from the redhead, who glared at me, then stormed off. The inside of me trembled, shaking my nerves up like a bracelet of charms, and I could swear Trunks smelled the fear over the soft rose perfume I was wearing. I watched Trunks with an intense curiosity as I saw an inner battle rage behind his eyes. His princely duties demanded he dance with me, but his personal feelings wanted him to run away. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity of internal torment for the two of us, Trunks surrendered his hand to me, like a general defeated in battle. I placed my hand on his, surprised by warm and soft his hand was. I had expected it to be cold and rough, the way I figured his heart was. But on the outside, Trunks wasn't as cold and heartless as the inside of him was. The way he held me, the gentle way his arms slid around me, the way he glided around the dance floor with me, everything was so gentle, and peaceful. If it weren't for the coldness in his eyes, I could of sworn to all of the gods I know of, that this wasn't Trunks. 

Boldness that would have made Bra proud came up inside of me. "Trunks," I asked, soft enough that only he could her, but loud enough to be heard over the music. He glanced down at me, a puzzled look on his face. I guessed that to be an invitation to continue, "Why do you hate me so much Trunks?" My heart pounded in my chest loud enough I could hardly hear the music. 

"You were an insult to my pride Pan. A woman stronger than me. It hurt me inside. But…I could have dealt with that. I could have learned from your strengths and we could have been wonderful together. Yes, I could have dealt with that. But Pan, you are very young, so you may not understand all of this. My heart was too broken to love anyone else. Including you, Pan." I felt very young indeed, and naïve as well, listening to him talk I such ways. In a way, I felt better, knowing there was a reason behind his hatred for me, but I felt worse thinking of what those reasons were. The final song ended, and Trunks looked a surprised as I felt. Had the two of us really just spent the whole night dancing together? We pulled away from each other quickly, like young lovers caught kissing by their parents. Whispering a quick good-bye, I hurried off to find Bra and Marron. But what was strange was, my heart was pounding from fear earlier. And now, even though I have nothing to fear with Trunks gone, it continues to pound with a fierce intensity. But something this time, something is different.

Pixie: Sage! Quite complaining. We're pretending to be on a date here. 

Sage: I'm sorry Pixie, but I know for a fact you've been sick recently, and I don't want to catch what you've got. 

Pixie: Gohan is spying on us. At least TRY and look like you're being funny, romantic, and charming. Not that you're any of those things…

Sage: Very funny….

Gohan: Trunks he just smiled! What on Earth is he smiling about? 

Trunks: Can I have my binoculars back?

Gohan: Give me 15 more minutes, ad I'll buy you another ice cream…

FYI: This is the longest chapter I've ever typed for a story! Yea me! 


	12. Chapter 11

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I've spent all my money collecting anime figures already. Do you really think I could afford to own DBZ too?

Goten: Isn't that strange Gohan? Pixie AND Sage coming down with the exact same illness at the exact same time?

Trunks: Yeah, I wonder what they did to get the same germs?

Gohan: *pales slightly * When…did they get sick?

Goten: Hmm…It must have been Saturday. 

Trunks: Yeah, that was it! I remember cause Pixie let me have the leftovers from the dinner she and Sage had the night before.

Gohan: Maybe…maybe the food made them sick?

Trunks: Didn't make me sick! 

Gohan: Yeah…. *walks away slowly * 

Pixie: * walks in the room, obviously not sick * You guys are brilliant! 

Goten: Thanks. We try. 

Chapter 11

Trunks' POV

I paced back and forth. What was wrong with me today? Last night, Pan had been so beautiful, I had found myself dancing with her all night long. I looked down at a picture of Marron, but no longer did it pain my heart to look at her. I flicked my tail behind me in annoyance. Obviously I had to speak to Pan, and soon. I stared at my reflection in a crystal clear mirror. My hair did not fall into the usual "Saiyan spikes" but rather fell soft around ears. I laughed softly, thinking of how long I used to let it get. My father would yell and scream for me to cut off all my hair, but really it was never no longer than his. His just spiked where mine fell. Despite the fact my father was so short, I had grown tall, and I had always taken pride in the way my body looked. It was not a massive bulk of uncontrolled muscle, like many Saiyan's had; no I had my father's build, not a large build, but finely chiseled muscles. I smirked at my reflection, showing off my resemblance to my father, despite my mother's eyes shining out from straight eyebrows. A soft knock sounded on my door. I considered blasting the person who stood on the other side, but based on how light the knock was, I figured it was a girl. Hell, it was probably Pan. I actually found myself wanting to talk to her, though I quickly repressed those feelings. I strolled over to the door, purposely making the person on the other side wait. I opened the door. I was right, it was a girl knock. She stood there, biting her lip, her stance seemingly ready to collapse on its self. Her dress flattered her, but it was not slutty in any way. Her hair fell around her shoulders in blond ribbons, and her eyes as blue as my own seemed close to tears. 

"Marron?" 

Pan's POV

I flipped my black hair back from my face, and settled down on the floor in my new clothes, swaying my tail happily behind me. The denim pants were loose and went down just past my knees. Black boots, already a bit scruffy covered my feet. The shirt was a bright red and fit rather snugly. Bra tied an orange bandanna in my hair, holding in back from my face completely. I looked at my reflection in the mirror and frowned, running a finger through my hair, which had grown out past my shoulders.

"We can get your hair cut," Bra's mother Bulma, smiled down at me, guessing what was wrong. I had grown up with short hair, always cut by my mother, Videl. But now, since my stay at the palace my hair had grown long. Bra pulled out a pair of scissors and hacked away at my poor defenseless hair. Bulma evened it out. As soon as I felt complete, I stood up and twirled in front of them. 

"How do I look it?" I asked, looking down at the queen and Bra. The two of them laughed and made comments on my "princess-like" looks. I smiled, and sank down into a soft pillow thrown casually on the ground. It felt good to have allies again. 

Marron's POV

"Don't waste my time Trunks. I know for a fact you want Pan dead. Now tell me why." I tried my best to look threatening, but inside my heart pounded, and my mouth felt dry. Fear widened by eyes, as I stared him down. He smirked, and I felt like smacking it for him. But fear and reason held me back. He wanted me to attack, he wanted to hurt me, it was written in his cold, unforgiving eyes. 

"Why do I want her dead? Why, you oughta know that Marron. After all, wasn't this your plan to begin with? You even told me the name of the assassin I should use. And yes, I did already hire him. Under an anonymous name, of course, but I paid enough money so that she'll be good and dead within a week or so."

"Trunks…Pan loves you! She doesn't realize it herself yet, but I know! I see it in her eyes, in her movement when she talks about it. You fucking basterd, why don't you see it too?!" My voice grew shrill as I let my anger take over my mind. 

"Love…and I suppose _you _would be the expert on that, wouldn't you Marron? Love causes nothing but pain. It's the reason Pan's family was shunned years ago, and the reason why her father is dead. You know this Marron, don't you? Your father was her grandfather's best friend. My own father was her grandfather's best friend. But things fell apart Marron. You loved the chaos Marron. You created it, you lived on it. But it's caught up to you Marron. What are you going to do about it?"

Pixie: I think I'm too tired to write anymore. But the next chapter, explanations will be made, feelings will be questioned, and Marron will wander around in confused circles trying to figure out what Trunks said. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of "Killing my Soul." And, if you're like most people out there, who just read the side stories to catch up on my "love life" with Gohan, there's an exciting bit added to that story too. Coming up, all in the next chapter! 


	13. Chapter 12

"Killing My Soul"

by Pixie

Pixie: Ok, we're updating. Over the summer, I'm going to try to update at least one story, at least once a day. However, I will be going on some vacations, where no updates will take place. Happy reading all! I had a question on how Pan, Bra and Marron became friends so fast. This wasn't really explained, but it's because they were all looking for someone to be their friend, and care about them. 

Chapter 11

Pan's POV

I pulled black shirt over my head, trying to keep quiet. I didn't bother to put on any shoes, they would make too much noise. I took a quick glance in the mirror. Not princessy, but casual, good for sneaking around. I opened the door as quietly as I could, and shut it gently behind me. Bra and Marron's rooms were right next to mine, as we had begged King Vegeta to make them that way. 

I tried not to breathe loudly, but the quieter I tried to breathe, the louder it sounded, drumming along with my pounding heart. I slipped down the hall, moving from shadow to shadow, as quick as I was silent. Trunks had told me I should attract as little attention as possible. 

"Especially do not attract the attention of my sister and your other little friend." He had said this in a threatening way, but I did not feel threatened by him. Inside of me, I was still a child, thoughtless and naïve. I believed in my own immortality. Even the dark did not faze me, I had spent of my childhood hiding in the dark from the specters of the past. 

I walked up to Trunks' room, and knocked on the door, softly, but loud enough so I would be heard. 

It took me a minute to realize the man at the door was Trunks. He was wearing a pair of glasses, and in his hand was a book, open somewhere in the middle. His lavender hair fell softly around his face, with one stubborn lock covering his eyes. He wore a black pair of pants, and a dark blue shirt. I had never seen him this was before, looking so sensitive and kind. Marron, Bra and I had always talked about him as a demon from the nightmare world, always fully clad in armor, constantly scowling, ready to attack the slightest noise. Upon seeing him, I realized how childish that fantasy really was. He put down the book, and took off his glasses. He looked down at me, and pushed his hair back from his face, only to have it fall right back into the place it was in. He stepped aside, gesturing that I should enter his room. I took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

Trunks' POV

I am a Saiyan. As a child, I was taught to fight, and that was the world I knew. Nothing of how to treat people, or how to love. I only knew how to through a fist, to read a scouter, and where to hit your enemies. There's something about Pan that shatters my world of nothing but fighting. I had a reputation as one of the best fighters in the land, ruthless, free of the boundaries of emotion. Pan is so full of emotion, love, pain, and fear. She frightened me, and though I may be a coward for this, I wanted her gone. The thought of everything I've known, shattering in the hands and heart of one passionate little girl…it was my worst fear. I wanted her gone. I needed her gone. 

It was Marron's idea to get rid of Pan. Then she and I could have been together. I still loved her. Even now, that I see, she never loved me back, part of me is still very in love with her. She broke my heart, but I cannot show this. I am a Saiyan. I cannot cry over some girl, and I never have. Though there have been some mysterious instances where I dreamed of Marron running back to me in a bride's dress, and I have awoken to find my pillow damp. If Pan was gone, Marron could come back. I would be free of emotion once more, thoughtless, knowing only my safe shell.

But there is another part of me. It wants to let Marron go, to be wrapped up in emotion, and to hold Pan tight, and welcome her as my mate. Which is why I had invited her here tonight to talk to me. I needed to know if she was the one to be my mate. True, I had an assassin hired, ready to kill Pan at a moment's notice. But still, I begin to doubt myself. But I did not know how to express my emotion to her. So we talked of trivial things, upcoming tournaments, the weather, my mother and father, my sister. I noticed her tail flickered nervously behind her the whole time, which fascinated me. She was stronger than me, probably by far, and yet I struck fear in her heart. I found compassion shrinking its way into my ice heart, and I began to wonder how long it would be before feelings such as those took over. 

After a while, I asked Pan to leave, and she did. I stood by the door for a while after she left, until I was sure she was really gone. Then I did something I hadn't done since I was baby.

I cried.

Pixie: Short, yes, I'm sorry. But there's only 10 chapters left, and defiantly no sequel in store for this one.


	14. Chapter 13

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: Do I really need to say it? I DON'T own DBZ…

Pixie: I know, it's a bit late, but there was this party today, and I had to go, but I'm still updating one story per day. 

Chapter 13

Bra's POV

I squealed as I looked over at Pan. She stared at me as if I was diseased, but I didn't care. 

"Panny, tomorrow's it! The DAY!" She continued to stare at me, as if she was clue less to what I was saying. "Tomorrow is the Ceremony, when it's declared that you and Trunks are going to spend your lives together!" I reminded her.

"And I should be happy about this…why?" Pan asked, in that sarcastic little manner of hers. I sighed. I knew Pan and Trunks still weren't in love, but still, it was a high honor for Pan to have Trunks for a mate. I had only seen one ceremony before. The couple would dress up in their finest clothes, and the King would come before them, and he would declare the two should be together. On rare occasions, the King would say the two could not be together, but since the King had selected Pan for Trunks, there was no chance of that. Then, the couple would swear to each other that they'd always be together, usually in the form of a long speech. The King and Queen, and any family that the couple had would give a blessing, then the two would kiss, and leave off together to their new lives. Of course, you had to very rich to afford a Ceremony. I secretly wished I could have one for myself. I thought of Raditz – oops I mean Goten, and imagined the two of us having a Ceremony together. I giggled over the though, and flopped back on Pan's bed, next to Marron, who also seemed deep in thought…I wondered if she was thinking about Ubuu. I smiled to myself, wondering if at last, happiness was beginning to come for my friends and me. 

Pan's POV

I looked at Marron and Bra, both very excited over the fact tomorrow Trunks and I would have a Ceremony. Me on the other hand, I was secretly excited. Last night, I had a dream about Trunks. He had come into my room; I was alone. He wrapped me up in a kiss. And then…he left, and I woke up, my heart pounding and my mouth dry. I realized late at night, I was in love with Trunks. Thinking about the dream again, I felt angry at myself, and at Trunks. Why did I love him, and why was he so goddamn beautiful in every way? I realized then Bra and Marron were both staring at me. I turned and looked in the mirror. My raven hair had turned the color of the noonday sun, and my eyes were as green as the grass outside. My tail too, had a shimmery gold color to it.

I took a deep breath, calming myself down, and returning to my normal state. I smiled at them, but I could tell they felt my anger in the air. I wondered if I should tell them what I was thinking but I decided not to. After all, some secrets are best left hidden. 

"I love you Trunks," I thought to myself, praying some weird trick of fate would bring the words to his ears. I wanted to say these words out loud, scream them to everyone, because for the first time, the thrill of liking someone had taken hold of me. 

Instead, "I wish my parents could be here," I told Bra and Marron. Tears filled my eyes. Not a day had passed when I hadn't thought of my father, his loving words and proud smile. My mother had to run away from us when I was about two. To this day, I do not understand, but I knew it was not another man. She had bonded with my father, and I could see every day some freakish pain trying to take hold of him. In a way, I hated my mother for never being here for my father. And still, I didn't really hate her, because I never knew her. Life was confusing in this way.

Trunk's POV

"What are you planning?" The voice of a Saiyan by the name of Raditz interrupted my late night walk. I glared at him, and continued walking, but he was a persistent little bug, and caught up to me. Some people never know when to quit. 

"What are you planning to do to Pan?" He was one of the guards. I had noticed he never really liked me, but I never quite knew why. I reached up, and hit a small button on my scouter. I hid my shock when it revealed not only was his power almost as high as mine, but it was rising too. I smirked at him. 

"Why does it matter to you what I'm going to do to her?" His little attitude was really beginning to bother me. "And furthermore, what could you do about anything anyway?" I stared at him, arrogently, I admit, but not without reason. I had stumped him there, he had no idea how to respond. 

"You can protect her pretty well from within the castle," I continued, "But I supposed I'll have to make that harder for you," I smiled sweetly at him, pausing for effect.

"You're fired." 

Pixie: Only one wish Gohan…that's all I want. 

Gohan: FINE! You can make your one wish…but I get to make the other one. 

Pixie: I guess that's fair. 

* The two shake on their deal, then summon the dragon together.* 

Pixie: MY turn FIRST! Mr. Dragon sir, I wish I was a Saiyan.

Gohan: WHAT?!

Dragon: Your wish is granted. 

Pixie: YES!! I am the Great SAIYA PIXIE!!! *runs and puts on Gohan's Saiyaman costume * 

Gohan: Then…because Pixie, you've always been avoiding me…I wish that for one month Pixie and I can't move more than 10 feet away from each other. 

Pixie: YOU STOLE MY PLOT LINE! AND NOW, since I'm a Saiyan and all, I WILL HAVE TO BEAT YOU UP!!!

Goten: Now who's gonna cook for us? 


	15. Chapter 14

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Pixie: I know, I know. We're never going to finish this story at the rate I'm updating! But I promise, I'll be faster. 

Gohan: Yeah, right.

Pixie: Gohan, I suggest you be quiet before I give you two MORE black eyes. 

Gohan: I already have two black eyes, you can't give me anymore. 

Chapter 14: Secrets, Ceremonies and friendship

Marron's POV

"What do you think?" Pan entered the room, and did a small twirl in front of us. Or was it Pan? I remember Pan as an uncombed hair kind of girl, baggy clothes and no make-up kind of girl. Not necessarily pretty, but not ugly. Never beautiful though. But here. Pan stood in front of us, all dressed up in snow white armor with a gold trim. Her hair hung down in soft elegant curls, framing her face and gently holding on top of her head, a beautiful silver tiara. Her eye make-up was glittery, and brought out the sparkle in her eyes, her lips were soft and pink, reflecting the charm and sweetness in her smile. Her cheeks, lightly colored pink, framing an innocent, vulnerable face. I was afraid to touch her, afraid she'd only be a dream. Bra however, wrapped her thin, graceful arms around Pan, and I moved to follow suit. 

"You look beautiful Pan," Bra's eyes were bright and rays of light seemed to shine through them as we waved good-bye to Pan. Two guards, both female, came in and led Pan away for the ceremony. Two more came in to escort Bra. I was glad to see the King had enough smarts to send females to get them and not men. 

Trunks' POV

Pan entered the room slowly, her eyes wandered around. She sat down beside me and turned and looked at me with her large dark eyes, trying to capture me in their spell. For a moment, I lost myself in her gaze, her eyes pools of endless darkness, in which I was willingly drowning. But I pulled myself out, and managed a little half smile, half smirk sort of thing. She smiled warmly back, as I racked my brain for things to talk about. We had a while to kill before the ceremony began. 

"So did you hear about that guard, Raditz, something or rather?" Not the most intelligent thing in the world to say, but it would do. 

"Oh. The one Bra likes? What about him?" The one Bra likes? Ooh, I was gonna get hell from her when word gets around who fired him. 

"Well he got fired." I watched her eyes widen at this news, "And, he was lying. His name was really Goten." I saw her flinch a bit at the name. I realized then, that the name Goten, was a lot like her father's name Gohan. Smart one, Trunks. I was about ready to smack myself, when the guards came in and announced it was time for us to be on. I helped Pan to her feet, and took her arm. 

"Smile!" I whispered in her ear, before leading her out the door.

Bulma's POV

They were a page out of a romance novel. Two young lovers, arm in arm walking together, both so beautiful. Trunks smiled, used to crowds. Pan looked nervous, scared of the crowd, but she smiled anyway. Every once in a while, she glanced at Trunks, and I could see love in her eyes as plain as the setting sun in the sky. While I did not think Trunks loved her nearly as much as she loved him, I could see some feelings there. I would have to talk to him. Vegeta nudged me. 

"You're staring woman." I glared at him, but soon had to smile back. Back during our own ceremony, I had just stared in adoration at Vegeta, until finally he hissed at me "You're staring woman." 

He turned his attention back to the ceremony. Trunks and Pan now stood before us. 

"Prince Vegeta," Vegeta said, using Trunks' first name, "Are you willing to accept this girl as your mate, and take her with you to the throne." Really, he has no choice but to say yes, but we had to ask anyway. 

"I am willing." Vegeta nodded at him and turned to Pan.

"Pan Son. Are you willing to accept this boy as your mate, and become the Princess of the Saiyans?" 

"I am willing." I smiled to myself. Her voice was full of confidence. Most girls sounded so soft and shy. 

"Then, by the crown of Vegeta, Pan, you are the Princess of Saiyans, Trunks you are able to receive the throne." The crowd broke out in wild cheering. Trunks and Pan turned to face them, when suddenly, cheers turned to screams. A man, not to old, stood out in the ground. His eyes were green, his hair blond and messy. He was walking slowly towards us. Another Super Saiyan had appeared.

Goten: Pixie and Gohan are STILL arguing? 

Trunks: Yeah, and watch this. GOSH GOTEN! DON'T THOSE TWO SOUND JUST LIKE MY MOM AND DAD?

*Pixie and Gohan walk in *

Gohan: Trunks!

Pixie: Don't be mean to Trunks! You told him to say that didn't you Gohan? You want us to get married, don't you? 

Gohan: Well, I have given it some thought…

Goten: Damn, she's good.


	16. Chapter 15

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie Whitefeather

Pixie: The update it late, I admit. But that's because I was re-reading my work, and thinking to myself, "This is pure crap, how are people liking this?" So, I ditched the original work I had wrote for Killing My Soul's ending, and began writing again, from this chapter out. I apologize for the crap you've had to read for the past chapters, and hope you like the new stuff. 

Chapter 16

Pan's POV

When I was little, love was my fairy-tale, it was what kept me going when the waters got rough, it was my beautiful daydream when waters grew calm again. I would dream of my own sadness, brightened by someone who was always there, someone who would always be there, someone to hold my hand, someone's shoulder to cry on. When I was five years old, just opening up to the world's beauty, light, cruelty and darkness, I wished on the brightest falling star, that I would find my someone, who would always be there. Today I had prayed, my falling star wish, my lifetime wish, my only wish, would come true. And now, a Super Saiyan like myself, stood among people who had gathered to see my wish come true; he stood there, blocking my path of what could become happiness. 

A few sparks of anger began to shimmer and fade in my heart. Trunks felt my anger, and though I have the feeling he didn't understand why I was so angry, he whispered for me to calm down. 

A wise teacher once told me, that in every person's heart lies a desert, some big and some small. In a desert, everything is dry because there is no rain. In your heart's desert, everything is dry because there is a lack of love, or trust, or friendship there. Everything is dry and barren, and until you fill that desert. Standing there with Trunks, I felt as if my whole heart was a desert. In the desert, things are very dry. A fire in a desert can be devastating. The sparks in my heart lit fire, lighting the entire desert in flames. 

I knew I had gone Super Saiyan, as I watched several scouters trying to detect my power explode before my eyes. The other Super Saiyan however did not fear me. Instead, he seemed more afraid of the crowd around him. I didn't understand why, they were all backing away from him. 

I don't remember much after that. From there it is hard to describe what was dream, what was reality. I remember seeing a flash of gold in front of me, seeing Marron and Bra by my side, and a huge blast. From there on out, there was only darkness.

Kakkarott's POV

It had started when Goten had appeared on my doorstep, banging and screaming about something rather. He told my wife and I of his adventures as a guard in the castle, and how he had overheard plan's for Pan's assassination. I had never met my young granddaughter Pan, but Gohan had told me about her several times, and I loved her, because she was family. I would have been too well recognized in the Court of Vegeta, so I had sent Goten to keep an eye on her. 

Upon hearing Goten's news, I had immediately started off for Vegeta's court, packing a bag quickly, and starting off. Being too late…it was a thought that had crossed my mind many times, and filled me with an almost paralyzing fear. 

I had not journeyed alone though. Pan's mother Videl, my son Goten, and an old friend of ours, Ubuu, had all journeyed with me. We arrived about midway through the ceremony. Ubuu and Goten slipped off up near the stage where the King and Queen were, ducking themselves into the wooded area that was our background. Videl and I slipped into the crowd. I knew it had been a long time since Videl had seen Pan. But still, I was not prepared for her actions.

She gasped, her eyes lighting up, like rainbows after a devastating storm. Years of holding within her, a hardened heart and dying soul washed away, and innocent beauty washed over her, and she stared at her daughter. Pan turned towards the crowd and seemed to be staring directly at her mother and me, and a hush came over the crowd. I myself was silenced. Her beauty seemed to shine through her from other worlds, ethereal, and pure. From a current deep inside myself, I felt a connection to Pan, as if she was the ocean, and I was the land, touching, but separate. I could see a connection between Videl and Pan, whether Pan felt it or not, it surrounded Videl so strong, it was almost tangible, and I was afraid, if I moved between them I would break it.

The ceremony ended, and I felt Videl nudge me. We had planned to try and scare off the assassin by having myself go Super Saiyan. With a deep breath and heart pounding I went Super Saiyan. 

Trunks POV

They say once in your life, you have a defining moment, the transcend from a boy to a man. Supposedly, it is a great and honorable moment, the moment you look back upon and think, "It all changed that day. Nothing's been the same since that day." Up until this day, standing next to Pan I had thought myself to be a man. But I was wrong, stupid and wrong and humiliated. And it had almost cost me the thing most dear to me. Instead, I had lost the first girl I loved, and my dearest, and only sister. It was all my fault, I had refused to look at what was right in front of me.

They say, every boy dreams of being a hero. I too, dreamt this many times, over and over. Did I think of myself as a hero recently? I had thought I was doing the right thing…but for whom? I was no hero, I was a coward, and a villain, causing pain and destruction. 

All had gone as planned, for the first part. The assassin had fired the blast as he should have. Had I been the hero I was supposed to be, I should have taken the blast for her. I should have tried to save her myself. Instead, the mysterious Super Saiyan in the audience had tackled her down. And Marron, beautiful and strong until the end, had jumped in the way, along side, a delicate rose of a Saiyan, my own sister. They took the blast, leaving the Super Saiyan and Pan unharmed, and Marron and Bra blasted off into the woods behind us.

Gohan: Pixie, are you done with that chapter yet?

Pixie: Come on, its only taken me a few days.

Gohan: That's still a few days where I have to sit here, and watch you type stuff, consult your notes, type stuff, take a nap, consult notes, type something.

Pixie: Ok, I get your point! Writing happens to be very strenuous, and it's your own fault your stuck watching me.

Gohan: How is sitting in a chair, staring at a notebook, and typing a few sentences at a time strenuous.

Trunks: Mom? Dad? Oh, no, never mind its just you two.

Goten: Trunks, that's gonna get you killed soon. 

*Fin * 


	17. Chapter 16

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Pixie: The end?! The end!? Of course not! I was surprised you people thought the last chapter was the end. No, my dear reviewers, that was only the beginning of the end. As for the lack of updates, my computer ("lovingly" named Vegeta) decided it wasn't in the mood to work. So I had to wait until it got better. Sorry for the inconvenience! 

Chapter 17

Trunks' POV

The worst feeling in the world? Some say it is betrayal…the thought that someone you once trusted and love has turned their back on you. Some say it is hate…the thought of no love for someone, but rather an extreme dislike to the point where you can not even think about this person without extreme anger. Some say it's rage…the thought of losing yourself to your own anger. 

But I know differently. I know the worst feeling in the world. It is the feeling of "too late". Knowing if you had not waited so long, things would have turned out different, turned out better. I had not seen the face of the hired assassin, I had not seen the face that would willingly deal death, as if he was God himself. But now…now I saw. His hair was gold, and his eyes were green. Of course…it took a Super Saiyan to kill a Super Saiyan. I stared down at Pan, her body so still. Nearby stood the other Super Saiyan. 

Something inside of me snapped then. Power exploded like I'd never felt before, exploded along with love, hate, rage, betrayal, and I knew it was too late. Pan was gone, Marron, my sister…all of them, more precocious to me than life itself…gone. 

It was all my fault, I knew this. But that did not stop me from attacking the Saiyan who was the assassin. If Pan, my Pan who I held in a reserved spot in my heart had to be dead, then he did too. I allowed rage to take over as I attacked. It was a losing battle before I'd even started. It was like trying to find a hidden person while blindfolded. I knew I had become a Super Saiyan, and yet I was no match for the stranger. I remember lunging for him, then everything was black.

** ****

I woke up in someone's arms. I opened my eyes as much as I could, and saw Pan smiling at me softly. For a moment I was a happy little boy again, resting in her arms, letting her protect my troubles from me. Had I…died? No…this hurt too much to be death. I sat up, with Pan's help. 

"You've been out for several hours." Her voice seemed to carry a sadness that I feared would never go away. 

"Marron…Bra…" 

"We never found them…" I nodded slowly, all words suddenly escaping me. 

Kakkarott's POV

I was a bit startled when the boy attacked me. Watching him go Super Saiyan was an amazing sight to behold. I blocked his attacks until finally his father stepped forward and knocked him unconscious. I sighed, powering down from Super Saiyan. I tried to recall the events as they'd happened. A blast had been fired, somewhere from the crowd nearby. I had ran forward and tackled Pan down, so the blast wouldn't hit her. But someone else had jumped out too, blocking the blast. Two girls, I think it was. I looked at Pan, who was unconscious and I figure I must have knocked her unconscious when I tackled her. 

"So Kakkarott… finally decided to show your ugly face around here again?" Vegeta laughed at his own joke, while his wife gave him a dirty look. I followed them silently back to the castle. 

I knew it was not a good time to ask…my wife had told me I shouldn't ask about food in bad or depressing situations…but I was really hungry. Luckily I didn't have to impolite.

"Kakkarott…if I remember you right…you're hungry now?" I tried not to look hungry, but I guess something in my face betrayed me, because Bulma and Vegeta laughed at me. Trunks and Pan, who's injuries were not that serious, were brought to the regeneration room to recover. 

Goten's POV

Any and all experience I have ever had with a girl was instantly forgotten the moment from the moment I had run into the Princess Bra. And now I was faced with a more difficult situation. My dad had put me in charge of standing guard behind the platform where Pan and the Prince were. Needless to say, it was a bit of a shock when The Princess came flying back and landed unconscious at my feet. The first thought was that this was a gift from a god and my way to prove myself to Bra. I had picked her off the ground and flown off at top speed to a small cabin I often shared with my friend Ubuu in the woods. 

I laid the Princess gently down on my bed and began to bandage her wounds. I wish I had been out front and seen what happened to make her such a mess. I smiled because, despite of every thing that had happened and despite the fact she was pretty much covered in blood and dirt, the Princess was still the beautiful girl I had ever seen. As I continued cleaning and bandaging her, I began to imagine what it would be like when she would woke up. She'd probably be so grateful, she'd cook me a huge meal. 

Suddenly, I frowned. Why did all my fantasies about girls start with, end with or include food? Logically, she'd probably be too weak to cook anything. Then it came to me! _I'd_ cook _her_ a big meal and she'd fall in love with me. After all, since I was always daydreaming about food, a lot of other people probably did too. I congratulated myself on my great idea and finished up binding the Princess' wounds. I was so engrossed in my work, I never even heard the door open. 

Pixie: Sorry about the delay. But a certain stupid computer *kicks her computer * decided it didn't feel like working. And then, after pulling an all-nighter to fix it, the lack of sleep made me sick, so I was confined to bed for a while. As a matter of fact, I'm still really sick. I just thought I should finish this up. When I can walk more then a couple of feet, I'll update more chapters to everything. My school year starts in 11 days, and I want to finish at least one story, hopefully two by then. 


	18. I messed up again! Chapter 18!

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Pixie: It's the long anticipated chapter "Everything confusing is finally explained!" 

Disclaimer: I can't say it enough, I don't own DBZ.

Chapter 18

Vegeta's POV

"So Kakkarott, you've finally decided to show your ugly face around here again." He looked up, and for a moment I was awed to see that even though he was old, old enough to be a grandfather he was still as young and naïve as he'd been as a child. His eyes still held the brightness of a child who was discovering the world, still held the curiosity of a kitten in a new area, they still glowed with the excitement of a puppy who got a treat.

"You risked the fact that old hatreds might exist, risked your own life as your son did, to protect this girl…your granddaughter I believe?" I wondered if perhaps he'd grown smarter and had some plan, or if he was just being stupid, bold and good-hearted as usual. I smirked when it became apparent my second guess was correct. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing old man? Bringing this man into our house, and feeding him our food after he openly tried to kill Pan?" Trunks had entered the room, looking old beyond his years, and his face was openly bitter, in contrary to Kakkarott's cheer and youthful look. The brat glared at Kakkarott but was not stupid enough to attack him again, which surprised me. Maybe my son had finally decided to grow up a little. 

"Sit down and shut up, stupid. This man is Pan's grandfather. He came here to stop your intentions to kill Pan, not to kill her. Now, if your ready to grow up, I can tell you the whole story. If your going to be immature, then run off and go try and kill the woman you love again." Defeated and deflated, Trunks sank down into a seat, and stared at his hand.

"Wow, Vegeta, how'd you know all that?" 

"Kakkarott, shut up and sit still, it might make you look smarter. This story started a long time ago, and if I can be as kind as to not be interrupted," I took this moment to glare at Trunks, who avoided my gaze, "Then I can tell it…"

~*~ Flashback ~*~ 

'"Chi-Chi! You are royalty, you cannot marry…a THIRD-CLASS! You'd be giving up everything our family has ever worked for, everything you could ever be! We worked and fought hard to retain our status as royalty of this area, and you're going to through that away!" Chi-Chi was scared of her father, after all the Ox-King was one of the most feared men around, however she knew she could not back down on this. 

"Yes father…I'd give up everything…for Kakkarott." Chi-Chi was young, but not so young she didn't know what love was. ' I glanced over at Kakkarott who seemed deep in thought. 'Chi-Chi formally renounced her status as royalty, causing a bit of an uproar in the region there. She ran off with Kakkarott and the people called out to me to bring her back. I tried to explain there was nothing I could do, but eventually, I had to pull them out of hiding, and fight Kakkarott.' My voice grew with each passing syllable, recalling the fight with Kakkarott. 'Kakkarott fought well…too well. I lost that fight that day. Kakkarott could have killed me in a single blast, he could be the one on the throne now. But he let me live. He walked away.' I could not face my family now. This loss was news to them, I had never told another soul I'd lost a fight. 'His family, him, his wife, and his son, Gohan, they returned to the woods where they lived for years to pass without incident. They could have lived there for years, happily, but Pan's father, Kakkarott's kid made the same mistake as his father. He won the heart of a girl. '

'Videl was pretty, she was strong, and until she met Gohan, her life was lived for her. She was expected to marry another boy…his name was Sharpner I believe. But then, she met Gohan, she fell in love with him. He tried to turn her down, but she ran away to be with him, and won his heart. When she announced they were married and had a child, Sharpner vowed to hunt them down and kill Gohan. Trunks would have been about five when this happened. Gohan and Videl ran off in hiding, and lived together for only a few years when a man named Ubuu, now a traitor to this world, tipped them off. Videl ran off, because Sharpner was following her. By the time he realized Gohan was not with Videl, he was far from Gohan. The rest of the story, you probably know. Pan and Gohan lived together for many years, until Pan was eighteen. Then Sharpner finally was able to find her father, and he killed him.' 

Pixie: So…it makes a bit more sense now. I tried to be consistent with the ages, please let me now if I made a mistake anywhere…I changed this story a lot since I first started writing it!


	19. Chapter:19

"Killing My Soul"

By Pixie

Pixie: I am so sick and tired of mixing and up and writing the wrong chapter numbers, I'm giving up on them completely! No more numbers! And…on another note, I've started school, and have had most of my life taken away. I'll still work on these fics, but…

7:15-must be at school for Driver's Ed

3:20- finally get home from school

3:30-4:30 homework time/fanfiction work on time.

4:30 Yu-gi-oh watching time.

5:00 Soccer (most days) 

7: come home from soccer.

7-9 More fanfiction time/relaxing time/study time

9-DBZ watching time. 

9:30 Die from tiredness.

I HAVE NO LIFE ANY MORE!!!

Chapter The Next ((I will figure out what chapter I'm on!))

Ubuu's POV

Beautiful…

I could have laughed. I was so engrossed in Marron's beauty I could hardly concentrate on healing her wounds. I brushed a small lock of blond hair out of her face. She groaned softly, and opened her eyes slightly, the smallest pools of blue staring out at me from a mess of blond hair, matted with blood. I picked up a damp rag, and cleaned her face, washing away blood and dirt. She closed her eyes and smiled. 

I wondered what she was thinking now. Perhaps she thought she was dead. 

Death…I knew Marron might die now, the possibility was still strong. "Marron…you've got to pull through!" I thought, picking up the pace on cleaning her wounds a little. I realized now how much I wanted her to live, how much I needed her to live. Without her, my life would be nothing, I would have no life.

Not a day went by when I didn't dream of her, not a night went by when I didn't wish she was by my side. It was love to an obsession. Some days, I would just lie outside, dreaming of her warmth, instead of the sun's on my face, the silky feeling of her skin, and not the grass, brushing up against me. Her blue eyes piercing into mine, instead of the blue sky. 

Goten wandered in, and without question began bandaging Marron with me. I thanked every god I knew for his help, and shortly Marron was sleeping again, cleaned and bandaged.

Goten left again as we finished up, saying he has something to take care of, leaving me alone with Marron. I watched her breathing, slow, but steady. I leaned forward and brushed my lips quickly against her's. Then, embarrassed on what I'd done, I left again.

Bra's POV

"Goten?" I sat up, fighting the pain, and looking around for him. He stuck his head in the room and grinned, the most cheerful grin I've ever seen. God above, I loved that grin. 

Blushing, it came to me, that I loved a lot more than that grin. I was in love with the way he looked at me, the way he spoke, everything about him…I was in love with Goten. He came and sat down on my bed, next to me. 

"Your face is red. Are you sick?" He looked so concerned that I giggled, and shook my head. 

"I feel better than I think I ever had in my whole life." I said, glancing at him, to see if he caught the hint. 

"Hey thanks! Maybe I'll become a doctor." How could he not catch that hint? I knew I would have to be more forward to get this guy's attention. I smiled, trying to look as sweet as Marron, and leaned in towards him with Pan's determination. No reaction from Goten. 

"Thank you so much for saving me. I have something for you." I know…it cheesy, and its way overused in moves, but I was desperate at this point for him to catch the hint! He stared at me, clearly confused, but he hadn't backed away from me. Did he seriously not catch what was happening here?

"It's this…" I leaned forward quickly and locked my lips to his, and he finally got the hint! I almost died of happiness when I felt him returning the kiss. I felt his arms wrap around my waist and suddenly I lost all my courage and broke the kiss falling into his arms. He held me up, still keeping his eyes locked with mine. He rested me down gently on his lap, and stroked my hair, talking to me softly. How could he act so casual now?! Did he not figure out, by the kiss that I was in love with him? I'd have to give another hint.

"We'll head back the castle as soon as your friend feels better. We've still got to find the guy who tried to kill Pan…and we've got to find my dad and mom out there." I tried to nod, but its hard when you're laying down.

"And we've got to tell everyone how we're gonna spend our whole lives together," I said softly, hoping Goten heard as I dozed off.

Pixie: Gohan…when are we gonna tell everyone WE'RE gonna spend our whole lives together?

Gohan: Maybe when you stop flirting with other guys!

Pixie: Oh since when do I flirt with other guys?

Gohan: This morning maybe! I saw you flirting with 17!

Pixie: We we're just talking…

Gohan: Do you give your phone number, hold hands with, and give a little kiss on the cheek to everyone you just "talk" to? 

Pixie: Uh…Yes? 


	20. The last chapter!

"Killing MY Soul"

By Pixie

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ, and I don't own the song. (If only tears could bring you back to me, Off the Pokemon movie soundtrack)

Pixie: I'm determined to finish this! Very determined actually. Check out Crystal Roses if you haven't all ready. I have the right file uploaded now.

Chapter: Uh..yeah.

Pan's POV

_How will I start, tomorrow without you here,_

Who's heart will guide me, when all the answers disappear? 

Is it too late?

Are you too far gone to stay?

You returned with blood on your hands and a lost smile on your lips. Who out there would smile no more, who's blood stained you hands today Trunks? You said I was safe now, that Sharpner was dead. But the name was foreign to my lips and I did not understand. People came and saw me, a woman with eyes like the sea and hair as dark as my own came and held me for a while, whispering comfort in my ears. Trunks came, when the blood was gone from his hands, and wrapped his arms around me, but all I could think about was those hands, and how the blood on them was as red as theirs had been. 

A small picture of the three of us hangs on my bedroom wall, reminding me who we were and whispering for me to join them. 

_This one's forever, should never have to go away._

What will I do, you know, I'm only half-way without you,

How will I make it through?

"Pan…" Trunks' voice floated in my ears, soft as new fallen snow, "They're dead, and you can't change that. But they died for you. Acting as if your dead throws everything they did for you away." 

"They're dead and you can't change that…"

"They're dead and you can't change that…"

I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears that were already falling. I felt darkness all around me, consuming me, and I could almost see myself, dying, almost as dead as Marron and Bra. I could almost see the three of us together again, ready to face the world, not alone, never alone. Just us…

I felt a current inside of me, deep down, a warmth flowing through me, the same thing I had always felt when Marron and Bra would surround me. 

"They're dead and you can't change that…"

You're wrong Trunks, opening my eyes, pulling myself out of the darkness.

I can change that.

_If only tears could bring you back to me,_

If only love could find a way

Bra's POV

I almost laughed out loud, finding the strength had at last begun to return to my feet. I stood up, taking a few shaky steps, before collapsing into Goten. He laughed, a deep joyful laugh, filling me with strength and warmth all over. Briefly, I marveled over how one man could have gained such power over me, and given me such happiness, like I'd never known. After years of hating men, hating myself, almost hating life itself, I had grown to love and appreciate everything around me, and most of all myself. I took a few more shaky steps, and smiled encouragingly at Marron, who was struggling even more than I, in ways I will never understand. My thoughts floated to Pan, and tears floated to my eyes. I had never even been able to see if she was ok. If I was ok, and she wasn't….I don't think I could live with myself…

_What I will do what I would give if you _

Return you to me

Someday, somehow, somewhere…

If my tears could bring you back

To me

Goten wrapped his arm around me, and I fell into it. Every aspect of my brain told me she was dead, and yet every thing in my heart denied it. Goten turned me towards him, his dark eyes piercing into mine.

"Tears won't bring her back Bra…" 

Trunks' POV

"Pan?" I moaned groggily, as I watched rubbing my eyes, as she slipped out the window, into the night.

"She's not supposed to be leaving," I muttered, my body still to tired to comprehend anything. Yawning, I rolled over and shut my eyes again.

About 10 seconds later, I leaped up, muttering and swearing, as I pulled on my armor and boots, and scrambled out the window. 

My eyes and senses, now alert, tracked Pan through the dark, following her through twists and turns throughout the night. 

The moonlight shone through the trees above, only a silver crescent, but it was enough light for me to see by. Pan crouched in the dark, her hair reflecting a silverish glow. She was a wolf in the night, aimed to pounce on her prey.

"I knew you were here…" With her words matching my thoughts, I followed her, drawn by a force too strong for even me to refuse. 

Pan's POV

_I've cried you an ocean, so you'd sail on home again_

Wings of emotion will carry you and all they can

Just let love guide you, and your heart will chart the course

Soon you'll be drifting, into the arms secure to your.

Look in my eyes, you'll see, a million tears have gone by…

And still they're not dry…

"I knew you were here…" I approached the door, after blindly following my heart, based on only a feeling that somehow, someway, Marron and Bra were inside. I felt tears spill down my face. "Please, please be there."

What I will do what I would give if you 

Return you to me

Someday, somehow, somewhere…

If my tears could bring you back

To me

With a thudding heart, I walked to the doorway, and opened the door.

Ubuu's POV

_I hold you close, and shout the words_

I only wish would befall

I held Marron in my arms, as tears streamed from her eyes. I rocked her back and forth like a baby. Just earlier she had been fine, walking around, laughing with me even. But then, something happened and the demon's in her heart took over, and I lost poor Marron to them. She was as dead as Pan, though unlike Pan, her body still moved and her lungs still breathed. But I am uncertain as to whether her heart still beat.

_For one last chance,_

For one last dance

There's a lot of things that I would love and know…

"Marron…" I whispered her name and yet she didn't respond. I felt tears in my own eyes spill over and disappear within her hair.

_What I will do what I would give if you _

Return you to me

Someday, somehow, somewhere…

If my tears could bring you back

To me.

Bra's POV

"MARRON! MARRON COME QUICK!" Pan ran up and hugged me, probably breaking a few of my bones in the process. Marron walked out, a dead corpse walking, then at the sight of Pan, she was instantly resurrected, running towards us, causing us to fall into the same old three girl screaming hug we had done so many times before. Cries of "you're alive, you're alive!" echoed through the cabin, bouncing off the walls, so that it was hard to tell if we were still shouting or if it was merely an echo. 

Sometime during our scream fest, Trunks walked in, and pulled us apart. When he touched Marron's arm, she instantly pulled away as if a snake bit her, and retreated to Ubuu. I don't know if Pan saw or not, but I did. Something smelled fishy here, and for once, it wasn't Goten.

((Pixie's POV

Why won't this chapter end!?))

Marron's POV

I felt his fingers brush on my arm, and memories, bottled up inside, flooded to the surface, threatening to come out. I backed away, retreating to Ubuu's arm. 

"It was my fault…" Trunks looked up sharply at me, his eyes telling me to shut up. But it was too late now, I had begun, and I could not stop.

"Pan…it was all my fault that you almost died."

"Marron…how could it be your fault?" Pan's eyes took on that one of concern, as she walked towards me. I held up my arm to stop her, and she backed off. I knew I had hurt her there. But I was ready to stop hurting her.

"I…I gave the order to Trunks to have you killed." Silence fell over the room, a dead silence, dead as I felt inside. 

"Trunks and I…we we're going to get married…before you came along." I felt Ubuu's grip around me tighten, making me realized just how many people I had betrayed here. 

"I betrayed everyone here, didn't I? Pan…you were such a trusting friend, Bra…you always loved me, and took care of me. Trunks, you loved me, but I took advantage of you, and nearly lost you your one true love…Ubuu…I loved you so much, and yet I left you for my own selfish reasons…I'm sorry everyone." The silence grew thicker as I awaited their judgment, the way a prisoner awaits his execution. 

I think Pan was the first to run up and hug me. But soon, everyone was mobbing me, even Goten, who appeared a bit confused, but happy enough. 

Pan's POV

There had been times there when I wondered if we could make it through. It had seemed like all our souls were slowly being killed, by ourselves, or by others, but then all the sudden in a torrent of love, we had repaired all the damage. There were other walls that would come our way, other obstacles that would come at us. 

But when they came, we would not be alone this time. We will never be alone again.

Pixie's POV

In the end…

Pan – lived happily with Trunks, and her friends, and became one of the finest queens Planet Vegeta ever saw.

Trunks – lived happily with Pan, and his two sons, Vegeta and Goku, and they're one daughter Marron.

Bra – After she managed to explain to Goten what marriage was, she married him.

Goten – After figuring out what sex was he had two children with Bra, Chigo, and Gohan. 

Marron – Became happily married to Ubuu.

Ubuu – After his status as traitor to the planet was lifted, he married Marron and they lived happily with no children.

Bulma – Won $300 from Vegeta after betting Trunks and Pan would fall in love.

Vegeta – lost $300 dollars, and spent the rest of his life being annoyed to death by Goku, and Pan's son, Goku.

Videl – moved out in her own house, and became permanent baby-sitter to all the children.

Goku – decided to live at the castle, to be with his "best buddy" Vegeta.

Gohan – was revived to Earth were he spent the rest of his life being stalked by a crazy author named Pixie.

Pixie: It's over, its done with, Killing my Soul, after 4 pages, and half a Saturday its all done. I love you all who reviewed! I love you, but not as much if you just read and never reviewed. Much love to all! 


End file.
